A...unique... way to support your candidate

I happened to come across this and thought it was hysterical...her singing isn't too bad either!

What about the children?

Several states have some very controversial things on their ballots this election...two of the biggest, of course, involve abortions and gay marriages. In fact, in California, Proposition 8 (banning gay marriage) is in for a *very* close race. Another state is attempting to outlaw any single parent or non-married couple from adopting children (aimed primarily at...you guessed it - gay couples).

So, I don't get it. Beyond the fact that people are people and should be able to love whom they wish and make whatever choices about their body that they wish...where are the kids going to go? You know the kids...the hundreds of thousands of children in this country with no families and no homes?

Here's my thinking...there are already so many children waiting to be placed in their own "forever homes", and so many more already in foster care, that the system is already overburdened trying to keep track of, and take care of, them all. So, let's presume abortion is outlawed. You are now creating a situation where there will be thousands more of unwanted babies - many of them possibly special needs (Down's Syndrome, etc.). Because even if the child has significant health problems, abortion is not longer an option. Where are they going to go? Who is going to take care of them? The already over-burdened system? The same system where kids can just fall through the cracks until they are found chained to a bedpost, or beaten, or starved almost to death?

Then take the gay couples, married or not. Many of these couples want a family. They're not going to raise children to be gay. They're not going to raise them up as satanists. They just want to have children for the same reasons as other folks - to love them, to hold them, to be there for them and help them grow. Now, many of these gay couples adopt children from the foster-care system, thereby giving these previously unwanted children a home and parents who love them.

So, you're outlawing abortions and creating a potential crisis with the adoption system, and then you're taking away the rights of some people to adopt these children. Talk about stuck between a rock and a hard place! Now we have more children with no homes and no family and fewer people able to adopt them. Hm. Sounds like a terrific idea, doesn't it?

Then, while you're at it, we can decriminalize prostitution (Nope. Not kidding. See *California* above) and put a whole new meaning to "endangering the health of the mother" in the abortion clause...

Just a blurb...

I read this last night and thought is was so beautiful. Regardless of which candidate someone might be voting for, this is a historic election. It is one that our children are watching much more closely than ever before - the good, the bad *and* the ugly. Unfortunately, there has been far too much of the bad and ugly (mostly coming from the Republican camp) than there has been good.

Obama is, whether you like him or not, the personification of the American dream. The man was raised in a dirt-poor family with a father who was mostly absent. Food stamps were not unheard of for him...his grandparents ended up mostly raising him. To have gone from those beginnings to where he is now, as a candidate for President of the United States (Well, those of us who aren't "real" Americans still believe it anyway) of America.

Here it is (as heard by someone else on an NPR radio show):

Rosa sat, so Martin could walk…
Martin walked, so Obama could run…
Obama is running, so our children can fly!

My son asked me yesterday why I voted for Obama. I stopped and thought about it - there are so many valid reasons, but how do I explain it to a 7-year-old child?

Fear. I voted for Obama because I'm tired of being afraid all the time. Our nation has spent too much of the last 8 years in fear. Some of it justified...Much of it created and exaggerated by the people in charge to further their own agenda.

The war in Iraq. Why are we there? Because we were played - our fear and our anger were used against us in order to justify a war that has cost us the lives of thousands of Americans. Men and women who had a job to do and died doing it the best they could.

The economy. I'm tired of feeling like my husband's paycheck, the same military paycheck that thousands of others receive, is getting stretched tighter and tighter. Watching groceries skyrocket. Watching the oil companies bring in BILLIONS in dollars of profits while everyone else is sinking. Losing a couple of thousand dollars within the space of a month - money that to us represented almost 2 years worth of savings, meant to help send our kids to college.

I feel like a little kid who is in the middle of a nightmare that mommy and daddy said didn't exist. It's still here, it's getting bigger, and the monster seems poised to jump right out of my closet and into my bed. I want the nightmare to end. I want the monster to go away...lost in the depths of my closet. I want *good* dreams - dreams where my children and all children have the chance to go to college. Dreams where everyone in this country, particularly those children, have access to good healthcare. Where the rich aren't getting richer by taking from the rest of us. Where we don't have to choose between doing fun things as a family and putting groceries on the table.

From fear to hope...that is my dream. That is why I voted for Obama. To see my wonderful country once again united in hope instead of fear.

How's your health?

What is the truth?

I was in a toy store a couple of weeks ago with my family, when I overheard a conversation between the clerk and a couple of the customers...Basically, the little chat revolved around which candidate was best. It being a VERY small and fairly conservative town, the answer for all parties was "McCain". OK, I have no problem with that. I do, however, have a problem when the reasons given to support one candidate are based on ignorance and racism.

Seriously. I had to walk out of the store, or risk getting involved in a confrontation. I heard one lady "whisper" (you know - the one that is designed to be heard as far as possible, while making it appear that it's a secret?) that she heard that Obama recently said he was a poor man. Well, she goes on, he has millions of dollars, and he says he's poor?!? Just more lies...at which point the man next to her pretty much commented that he won't vote for the black sonofabitch. There was more, but it aggravates me just thinking about it all.

Can you say ignorance? To the best of my knowledge, Obama has not ever said that he is poor *at this time*. He has said, repeatedly, that he was extremely poor growing up - to the point of living on food stamps at times. Something these people could certainly relate to, since this town has not had a viable industry since god-knows-when (logging? fishing?).

And to decide who to vote for based on color?! You may not be an active skinhead, but you're not too much different after all. Particularly after the arrest recently of two skinheads who planned on going on a killing spree that was to end with the attempted murder of Obama. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who judges another person based on the color of their skin is no different or better than a skinhead. They might not be planning murder, and they might even frown upon what those boys were planning...but at heart, under all the lies and facades, if they judge another by ethnicity and/or race, then they are just as wicked and wrong as those who would actively show the hatred and scorn.

It makes me sick, how many lies and labels have been bandied about. Even worse, that so many people actually BELIEVE them without questioning their validity or their authenticity. And these ignorant folk are planning on putting pen to paper on election day based on bullshit. I have so much hope for this country and our world as a whole - but it's hard for me to explain to my children why someone else believes that color is more important than character. It makes me wonder if we will EVER get to the point where the inner person is acknowledged as being so much more important than the outer.

The worst part is, these people who believe so much in their "knowledge" would all be prepared to defend it. They believe just as strongly in their position as I do in mine. And while I'm a firm believer in "middle ground", this is one of those things that I just can't justify as a grey area. Either all humans are created equal, or they are not. Period.

Bless the little children...

So, I read the news this morning where an 8-year-old boy shot and killed himself while shooting an Uzi submachine gun at a gun show. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

What kind of flippin' idiot allows an 8-year-old child to handle an Uzi without assistance? Expanding on that, what kind of ("properly certified and licensed) idiot just stands there and watches? I have a 7-year-old son, and I know damn good and well that there is no way in hell he would have the strength to hold the weapon steady or the knowledge of how the weapon would handle when fired.

Don't get me wrong - I have nothing against guns. My husband and I both enjoy firing them and doing some hunting. Our children will be introduced to them and taught to fire them, if only to teach them about the damage they can do and how to handle them responsibly. But as far as I'm concerned, responsible education DOES NOT include using an Uzi at the age of 8.

Reports say the father was standing behind his child - but where were the knowledgeable people who should have said "Sir, you'll need to help your son actually HOLD THE GUN"? Or the people who might have expressed a little bit of concern over a child that young firing a submachine gun? And how certified and licensed was the idiot who stood there and watched the whole thing without INSISTING upon either the father helping to hold the gun, or preferably, doing it himself?

I am just sick over this. What a waste of a child's life, for something that was totally preventable and absolutely asanine in the first place. I feel for his parents to the extent that they have lost their child. But part of me truly hopes that this father and this instructor are haunted by guilt for quite some time to come. Mean? Maybe. But there is a high degree of responsibility that comes with having and raising a child, and too damn many people are bowing out of that responsibility. And when you abdicate your responsibility, too often the child is the one to suffer. I only pray that this child, Christopher, did not suffer and was gone before he knew what happened.

Someone ring a bell - Christopher just got his angel's wings.

I'm a sexist terrorist!

All this attention paid to Palin's little spending spree has the McCain camp up in arms, crying out to anyone who will listen that it's "sexism". Um, excuse me, but I beg to differ. Is it sexism to question why and how a candidate would spend that much money in two days on clothes, makeup and hair? Is it sexism to wonder why a stylist would get paid more than a top foreign policy advisor? Or is it just being a good ("real") American, to ask why these things are necessary and where the funding came from?

I seem to remember a few flaps regarding hair cuts in the past - and they were with men. I heard no cries of sexism on those...but then again, it was the Republican party pointing fingers last time. So apparently, what's good for the goose is NOT good for the gander. Putting it another way- it's ok for the Republican party to spend loads of money (substantially more than the aforementioned haircuts), but heaven help anyone else who may consider wasting their taxpayer's dollars in the same fashion.

McCain and Palin both seem to have entitlement issues, regardless of the fallout for the people they are sworn to serve. And if anyone has the gall to question their decisions, then they are said to be "un-American"...and may I go so far as to say they might even be labelled a "terrorist". These two aren't interested in helping the American people - they are interested in absolute rule.

God save the King.

Hello? 911? Can I order a pizza?

So by now, I'm assuming you've heard about the brouhaha regarding John McCain's brother Joe. But, just in case you haven't, here's the lowdown...Joe called 911 when he was stuck in traffic to complain and see what the holdup was. When the 911 operator asked him if he was calling 911 to complain about traffic, Joe's eloquent reply was "&%@# you" as he hung up...he apparently has his brother's amazing speaking skills...

Anyway, as required, the 911 operator called 'ole Joe back, got his voicemail, and left a message to the effect that it is against the law to call 911 for anything not emergency-related. Joe, being the efficient man that he apparently is, got his message within a relatively short period of time and was none too happy. So what does he decide to do? That's right...he called 911 *back* to complain that "somebody just gave me this riot act about the violation of police". Seriously. How stupid does one have to be here?!

Now, I realize it's not Joe running for President. I do. However, I do have a couple of beefs about this. First - McCain (John) has always been accused of having anger-management issues, and this certainly does not help his case. This is exactly the sort of thing that people would expect from him. Not only that, but what kind of brother is that big of a jack-ass as to pull something like that? Is the McCain family trait popping up? Apple not falling far from the tree and all that?

But here's my biggest peeve about the whole thing - I was a radioman in the CG for a little over 7 years. There is absolutely nothing like having some idiot calling "mayday" over nothing, or doing it as a prank. It wastes valuable time and potentially blocks a line someone else in REAL trouble may be trying to get through on. It is no different for a 911 operator. These people are there to help save lives, not deal with some asshole with entitlement issues. Alexandria is a very large, very busy place. What if there was a mother who was trying to get help for a choking child? A wife whose husband was having a heart attack? A man who had been shot and needed assistance? Any one of those situations could be happening at any time of day, and what happens if the phone line is busy? Because traffic is too slow and we have someone who thinks they're above the law? As far as I'm concerned, he should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law...and his license should be suspended for some amount of time. See how worried about traffic you are when you're on public transportation, buddy!

It just amazes me how stupid people can be. This is certainly not limited to politicians, but it seems to show up more with them. I saw a great sticker the other day...it said:

Elect Obama and Biden - two brains are better than none.

That's what we'll get with McCain and Palin...no brains and a religious agenda. Maybe they should dress up as the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz? Or Palin could be the scarecrow and McCain could be the tin man. Can't you just see them skipping into the white house, singing about their yellow brick road?

God help us all.

Take a step back in time - to the present...

I'm not feeling the best tonight, so I'm going to leave you with this. Regardless of which side of the political fence you're on, this is a good (and short!) one to watch.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Too good not to share...

I watched this clip today and I literally had goose bumps (my house is chilly, but not *that* bad!). The man can speak, and it's about time that someone had a message about our country putting aside our petty differences with each other in order to help all...

Wow. This week...well, it hasn't been my best. My attempt to block endangered species status for Beluga whales in Alaska ("drill, baby, drill") was denied. Latest polls show me as an albatross around McCain's neck (surprisingly more so than McCain himself is). Word got out that I have not only used state funds to travel with my children, but that I then turned around and edited the travel claims (to make it look like) so my children had official status during those trips...Rough, rough week. I'm just so...depressed. Must be Obama's fault. Damn terrorist.

But you know what I like to do when I have a rough week? I like to go SHOPPING! That's right - I take the shopping cure. Maybe a new hairdo, some new clothes, a few pair of new shoes...maybe even some new makeup. Lifts the spirits right up! Who could be down after spending $150,000 on a new wardrobe, right? Like most of middle-class America, I can TOTALLY relate to dropping almost $117 grand at Neiman-Marcus...over $4 grand on hair and makeup...it's even better when someone else (American taxpayers) is paying the bill! What's not to love?

And you know, when I go shopping, I really love to pick up a few things for my loved ones. Why, spending almost $5,000 on clothes for my man can really bring a smile to my face. Just the thought of how down-right dapper he'll be...giving really can be better than receiving! It's always nice to grab a little something for the kids every now and then as well...nothing like a $92 romper and matching hat to make my little pride-and-joy look so *cute*!

But it can totally bring me down when people start, just, HARPING on how much I spent! Well, golly, folks...aren't there so many "more important issues...right now" than how much of your money I spent trying to look pretty for ya'll? I mean, like when people point out that my partner in (crime) this election, John McCain, stood on the floor of the Senate in 1993 and said:

"Madam President, the amendment before the Senate is a very simple one. It restricts the use of campaign funds for inherently personal purposes. The amendment would restrict individuals from using campaign funds for such things as home mortgage payments, clothing purchases, noncampaign automobile expenses, country club memberships, and vacations or other trips that are noncampaign in nature...If we in Congress learned one thing from President Clinton's $200 haircut last week, it should be that the public does not approve of its elected officials being treated as royalty. We should be no different."

Wasn't that noble of him? Standing up to those evil Clintons and their $200 haircuts? And then, in 1994, the brave man said:

"Mr. President, I do not believe the general public is aware of how their campaign contributions are being used. I think it would be fair to say that if they did, they would be outraged, and well they should be...It is time the Congress, and those whose privilege it is to serve there, learn to live within its means. Restricting the use of campaign funds for personal purposes is a vital first step in that direction..."

What? What's that you say? No, no...of course this doesn't apply to me! He was speaking about CONGRESS, not future Vice Presidents! Vastly different, of course. Get that silly notion out of your head, that we must all be treated the same! Why, I really just don't understand what is so wrong with spending 3x the salary of the average American on clothing and hair! I'm a woman - President Clinton surely would understand the difference. Besides, McCain wrote the 2002 campaign finance law, so who better to (exploit) understand the nuances? *wink*.

So, really. Having this conversation is just not going to get us anywhere. I have more important things I could be doing - updating my wardrobe (September was such a long time ago!), paying bounties to hunters who have killed wolves and brought me the forelegs as a trophy, trying to keep an eye on Russia, and most importantly, explaining how Wasilla is *real* America:

Pray for knees all across America

I am so...depressed. I just learned that I am not a REAL American. All this time, worrying about the state of my country and the plight of the people within it, and I find out that my concern was wrong and unnecessary. I feel so...betrayed...by my naivete, my bleeding-heart status, my misplaced tears.

Apparently, REAL Americans live only in small towns, and only in certain portions of the country. Here is how you can tell the true patriots from...um...the rest of us:

*They do not believe in a woman's right to choose. They *do* believe in forcing a woman who has survived rape and/or incest to bear and birth a child from that terrible act.

*They do not believe in allowing gays to marry or to have the same rights as other humans. They *do* believe that gays can be "cured" by slapping them with enough religion to fell an angel.

*They do not profess to be racists or bigots. They *do* believe that anyone of Muslim descent is to be feared and hated...and that the wife of the African-American (oops. Better remove the "American"...) Presidential candidate should be "lynched" and "tracked down". But only if it's proven "100%" that she believes "that America is a bad country or a flawed nation"... (BTW - name just one country that isn't in some way flawed. I dare you.).

So basically, the rest of us are unnecessary and unwanted. If we have even a glimmer of hope that we might one day be considered real Americans, then we must hasten to do at least one of these things (Sort of like an initiation. But that would be Un-American.):

1. Pray for the eternally damned souls of women who have had abortions, regardless the circumstances.

2. Pray for the eternally damned souls of gays.

3. Pray for the eternally damned souls of Muslims (and anyone else who is not white-bread, "Christian" American).

4. Pray for the eternally damned souls of anyone who questions church and/or state.

And for those of you who thought you were grandfathered into the "real American" category simply because you or a loved one has served this country in the Armed Forces - guess again. Here's why - there are Muslims who have died for our country. Blacks have died for our country. But if they didn't, or wouldn't have, supported a McCain/Palin White House, then they were *not* REAL AMERICANS. So while you're praying, better pray for their eternally damned souls as well.

Better get some knee-pads.

8 simple rules to get ahead in life

The 4 main characters in this election all have the potential to be role models. They all hold an office of one sort or another. They are expected to be able to play well with others (running with scissors is optional). They should be honest, upright, fair and generous individuals. They should be such that we would be proud to not only have them running our country, but to be a neighbor and a friend. Someone that could teach our children how to do well in life without resorting to underhanded behavior. So that makes me wonder - what are the kids of today seeing in this election? What life lessons can be taken away for our future generations to live by?

1. Fear and hate are ok. Don't happen to like your opponent? That's ok! Use their race, their charitable works, and their background against them in any way possible. And if that isn't enough to get the results you want, then please - feel free to make people feel like associating with them could potentially be dangerous and/or harmful. Always a good trump card! Just make sure to focus on things that will get people all het up and emotional, and potentially cause riots and threats to life and limb...when you've got them shouting "Kill", then you are well on your way to being successful.

2. Lying is admirable and to be repeated as often as possible. And if someone has the temerity to point out to you that said lies are false (and even - the gall! - give evidence), then you are to repeat those lies and follow them with more lies, designed to try and cover up the first. And as you're drowning in lies - continue to pile them up! Because, really...the audience is stupid anyway, and why give them credit for any common sense?

3. Common courtesy and respect are optional - and preferably, best done without. The only way to make it in this world is to roll your eyes, make faces, and be rude to anyone who you happen to disagree with. And the more exaggerated the gestures, the better!

4. Ethics? Bah. Vastly over-rated. No need for such a thing - particularly if you are an avid believer in rules 1-3. I mean, really. What's the point of having power if you can't use it as you wish? Right?!? Why would anyone ever want to take on such a job if they didn't get the perks like using your office to threaten and/or intimidate people, or to preach from the podium your religion and beliefs? Even better...to have the people pay your large salary while you're busy throwing your tantrums! Rock on!

5. Greed rules. $15 million for copies of official emails is certainly not too much to ask for, right? Pull out the checkbook, baby.

6. Intellectual property does not exist. Repeat after me: DOES NOT EXIST. If you feel like appropriating a creation of someone else's, then by all means...take it. Regardless of how many others have complained - you are more important. Therefore, there is no such thing as anything that does not belong to you in one way or another. Don't listen to them complain - won't get them anywhere. Really. You may stop using their particular piece of property, but only when you find one you like better at the moment. And if anyone does have the guts to complain - ignore, ignore, ignore. Then do it again.

7. Racism is not extinct and will never be extinct. No such thing as character trumping color. Anyone who is not the same as you is not worth your respect or your time. Mentioning lynchings - well, why not?

8. Standing up for your fellow American is old-fashioned and needs to just be brushed under the rug. In fact, if someone denigrates another person in front of you and/or in honor of you - feel superior, be proud, and do not feel the need to defend. You rule, you rock, you are KING (or QUEEN).

So, there you have it. 8 simple rules for our children to learn from this year's Presidential election. Feel free to copy/print them and post them so as to help your children learn them through to the very fiber of their being. Quiz them frequently. Teach them all about "Do as I say, not as I do". Then sit back and watch our country gradually implode.

Makes you proud, does it not?

"Why I'd Be a Better VP than Sarah Palin"

I'd like to formally submit myself to replace Sarah Palin on the GOP ticket. I feel confident that John McCain will see that the very attributes he desired in his VP choice can be met, and even exceeded in some areas, by me. For your consideration, my big, fat résumé:

1. Focus on the Family

I am the mother of five children, just like Governor Palin. I have known the demands of managing a full-time career and motherhood at the same time. I have juggled a breast pump and a BlackBerry, and I know when to put the BlackBerry down. (To be perfectly honest, I did once send a text to the baby and tried to nurse my bass player. You learn from your mistakes.)

2. Reproductive Issues

I also believe that a teenager's pregnancy is a "private family matter." In fact, I believe that every woman's pregnancy is a "private, family matter." (I bet the GOP never thought of making that leap!)

3. Church and State

Like the Governor, I now also believe that my will is perfectly aligned with God's will. When Governor Palin said that it was God's will for the Alaska pipeline to be built and asked for people to pray for that to happen, I was really inspired by her confidence in the absolute, seamless integration of her will and God's will. I have begun practicing this kind of supreme confidence on a smaller scale, but I am sure that I can quickly move to national issues. Starting with the sartorial, I know that it is God's will that I have the entire Chanel collection for the fall season, including those adorable high-heeled booties that were all over the runway shows.

(A couple things I'm still having trouble with regarding the will of God: I knew it was God's will that I win the Grammy in 2007 for my last record, but Bob Dylan won. This is clearly the work of Satan, but shouldn't my will/God's will have been strong enough to override that? And this Alaska pipeline--if it is God's will to have the pipeline built, then why isn't it built already? On a related topic, I don't own a single piece of Chanel.)

4. Environment

Along with Governor Palin, I don't believe that humans cause climate change.

(Okay, that is a bold-faced lie, but I've been paying really close attention to the campaign stump speeches, and I feel certain I am allowed a generous allotment of bold-faced lies.)

5. Foreign policy

Here's where I really shine. Governor Palin got her first passport in 2007. I got my first passport in 1970, when the Governor was only 6 years old! Not only do I have a passport, I have actually been outside of the United States, dozens of times. I have had relationships and conversations with real foreigners, in their own countries, in restaurants, shops, flea markets, museums, nightclubs, spas, hotels, all modes of public transportation, and even in their own homes. My foreign policies are fair, inclusive and sensitive to cultural differences. I don't ask for English Breakfast tea when I'm in France. I never call foreign currency "funny money" (even though it does look funny.) I don't shout at people to help them better understand English and, finally, I act on God's will when in Paris by going to Chanel, and to all the great boutiques, which is just an extension of God's will, as you can surely extrapolate by the above explanation of my will/God's will.

I know Governor Palin has one distinct advantage in living so close to Russia, in that she can keep a close eye on nefarious activity across the Bering Strait, but I, too, live very close to a foreign country. Canada is less than 400 miles from my home in New York City, and you never know when it might become necessary to invade a sovereign nation that has not attacked us, as we learned the hard way. Not only that, I have a girlfriend in Austin, Texas, whom I'm going to ask to keep an eye on Mexico.

6. Legal Experience

My understanding of the law is extensive, but here are a couple of cogent points: a photographer who thought I had used his photograph of me without his permission sued me. (I absolutely didn't use the photo without permission. When McCain does his meticulous vetting and background checks on me, I will explain the whole story. It was all a big misunderstanding.)

More importantly, I renegotiated my contract with the Sony Corporation in 1987. That was huge. You should have seen my legal bills. I negotiated an all-new contract with Capitol Records in 1995 and that, too, was an exhausting, contentious, but ultimately lucrative enterprise. Entertainment law is a blood sport, people. (Speaking of blood sports, I have to give it up to the Governor on the hunting issue. I have never shot a wolf from a helicopter, but I have thrown my cat off the bed. Hundreds of times.)

7. Higher Education

Governor Palin went to five different colleges to get her BS in journalism, but none of the colleges had entry requirements, whereas I went to a university that required a trigonometry credit before they would admit me. I had to take it the summer before school started. I don't remember a frigging thing, but I got a B. The other disparities in education are too numerous to mention, but suffice to say that I bet she never met Lee Strasberg.

It is true that I have no background in constitutional law, but I have read the Constitution, except for the amendments that don't have anything to do with me, and I watched the entire John Adams mini-series on HBO. Twice.

8. Ethics

I really think this whole investigation into the firing of the top state law enforcement official in Alaska, who wouldn't fire the state trooper who was mean to the Governor's sister, is just overblown. I once fired my assistant for making a pass at my husband, so I can totally understand this! And I would have fired an assistant who made a pass at my sister's husband, too. I love my sisters. Governor Palin loves her sister. People need to get over it.

But speaking of family, I've also had my fill of no-good boyfriends to my daughters, and boy, do I sympathize with the Governor over this Levi fellow and his MySpace page, with the guns and the cursing. My husband once took a broken chair out into the street to chase away a no-good boyfriend of my oldest daughter, and we didn't see the likes of him anymore. I have a zero-tolerance policy for miscreant youth, and I know I could help the Governor sort out her obviously conflicted feelings about setting limits for teenagers, just for her own peace of mind.

9. Iraq

The Governor says she hasn't "focused" on the war in Iraq, but I think she's just joshing us. No person in an executive position in the government of the United States could be so lazy that they would not familiarize themselves with every angle of what is potentially the greatest American debacle since the nation was founded, including all the terminology, like "Bush Doctrine."

If she's not kidding, then I respectfully submit the hate mail I received in 2003, at the beginning of the war, which came after my press conference with Musicians United To Win Without War, as proof of my "focus."

10. Executive Ability

Governor Palin was the mayor of a real town of 5,000 people. I have never been mayor of anything, but I have performed for crowds bigger than the population of Wasilla, Alaska, and I can tell you it's no picnic getting the monitors just right, working with cranky and egotistical musicians, changing clothes in dirty dressing rooms and eating bad backstage food, handling the hecklers and technical problems during a show, and then getting on the bus to go somewhere else and do it all over again the next night. Also, my last record sold about the population of Wasilla times forty, and they all seemed to like it. But dealing with the public is really difficult and they all have opinions about you, which are usually all wrong, so I've developed a thick skin, another requirement for life as the VP. Lastly, and the importance of this cannot be over-emphasized, the guy's head on the tail of the Alaska Airlines planes looks like my dad.

11. Maverick personality

Finally, there is one subject in which I find I am even more conservative than the Governor, and that is in the area of neo-natal responsibility. The Governor was eight months pregnant and in Texas to give a speech, when her water broke. She reportedly made her speech and then traveled eleven hours, dripping amniotic fluid, bypassing Seattle and Anchorage (major cities with world-class hospitals) to travel to a small hospital in Wasilla that had no neo-natal intensive care unit, and gave birth there. Call me a wimp, call me insecure, but you had better also call me a maverick, because I would have said "Damn the schedule! Damn the speech and the airline ticket!" If this had been me, as soon as my water broke, I'd be at the closest hospital and that baby would have been born in Texas! Just like my mom!

In summation, I present myself to the GOP as a woman, and I repeat, woman, who has held a passport for thirty-eight years, a lip gloss-wearing soccer-volleyball-softball-gymnastics mom of five, who can carry a six-pack home to her husband like nobody's business, whose will is firmly aligned with God's will, a neo-natal conservative and legally savvy public figure, a border-watching, trigonometry-credited, breastfeeding, BlackBerry-tapping, cat-throwing maverick whose daughters are out of their teens, therefore immune to teenage pregnancy (although this is a private, family matter), and whose dad's head (or an eerie facsimile) adorns a state airline.

I could offer more to recommend me to the job of vice president, but one last special quality that I share with Governor Palin is the fact that I also have a husband who wants his state to secede from the Union. Ever since the 2000 election, my husband has been all for the secession of not only New York, but the island of Manhattan! And I have to tell you, if Sarah Palin becomes vice president of the United States, he says we have to personally secede from the whole country. So please, people, write me in on the ballot in November, or write me in New Zealand, where I'll be making my new home.

Rosanne Cash is a singer-songwriter, and even though she has met Presidents Bush and Clinton (who appeared to note her décolletage with great appreciation), the ambassador to the Czech Republic and George Stevens, who produces the Kennedy Center Honors awards show, she does not think her knowledge of world leaders should be held against her, because her experience in Washington is limited to three days during the Million Mom March.

"You're not a jedi yet..."

Who's a wing-nut now?

One reason many people have said they will vote for McBush rather than Obama is because of their religious leanings...whatever they might be. The whole Catholic church is in an uproar over whether taking away abortion rights is more important than the economy, the war, and our foreign policy. Now, for many of us, that is pretty much a no-brainer...while abortion is a choice to be made by one, the others are forced on the many.

So, knowing this - I found it fascinating when I read a report of a 106-year-old nun who plans on voting for the first time since 1952. Yep, the lady last voted for President Eisenhower! Why is this significant? Because this nun, who lives in a convent in Rome (I would have LOVED to see the Pope's face when he heard about this!) is planning on voting for...wait for it...Barack Obama! Once again, this Catholic nun, who lives in a Catholic convent, in the city of the Vatican and the Pope, is voting for an actively pro-choice Presidential nominee. Even better - not only is he against revoking Roe vs. Wade, but he is co-sponsoring a bill that would invalidate any Federal or State law already in place that interferes with a woman's right to have an abortion. Pick a saint...any saint...and according to their religious laws, he or she must be rolling over in the grave right about now.

The nun, Sister Cecilia, says that she is "encouraged by Senator Obama", that he seems to "be a good man with a good private life...". She hopes that a presidency under Obama would bring "peace abroad".

I have to wonder how the Catholic "establishment" will take this particular development. This goes against so much of what they believe - though there are some who are promoting the idea that the economy and the war are a much higher priority than the abortion stance. However, those who are doing so are going against the explicit direction given by the Pope. Those renegades! Those mavericks! Oh, wait - Wrong party...

Poor Sister Cecilia has become such hot news that she is "startled and a bit anguished" by all the attention her position has caused. I sincerely hope that the anguish has not been caused by the extreme believers who have been shocked! Just shocked! that such a personage as a nun in the service of the Lord would espouse voting for a pro-rights proponent.

Brings me back to a question I asked a while ago - if I'm praying McCain and Palin do not win, and my prayers are answered, does that mean that their agenda is in the wrong? I'm guessing that this gentle nun has a much closer line to God than the Wonder Twins (particularly since if you're Catholic, you can't talk to God directly - you need a priest to do it for you).

Oh, never mind. It won't be God's will if they lose. It will be - it must be! - Satan working against them. Because like all extremists, they firmly believe that theirs is the one, the only, way to salvation. God save the wing-nuts!

Point A to Point B - via Russia

Does the woman ever truly answer a question? Is she capable of doing that? I mean really - it's like asking her what 2+2 is and being told that 5+5 = 25, and gee whiz, don'tcha know? *wink*

To which particular incident am I referring this time? When asked by a reporter about the investigation's finding that she had abused her power while in office, her response was "No, and if you read the report you'll see that there was nothing unlawful or unethical about replacing a cabinet member. You gotta read the report, sir.".

Um. I'm thinking he did read the report, or he wouldn't have asked you the question. About abuse of power. Not the firing of Monegan. About abusing your power. Like, trying to get your former brother-in-law fired. Because you were holding a grudge. Oh, and letting your right-hand man, the "first dude"(Are you kidding me?! Blech.), make the phone calls from your office...which certainly seemed to give your tacit approval (*wink, wink*). But of course, there's nothing like plausible deniability (more winking)...well, golly, I wouldn't ever do such a thing! Not lil ole' me...(anymore winking and I'll vomit)...

Seriously. Can someone please just pin her down on something?!? Her real hair color? What the term "maverick" really means to her? How Obama's connection to a radical is any worse than her own, more recent connections and their active support? Hell, I'd be happy with an honest explanation of how she can see Russia from her window...

Ah, well. Maybe she's the one who gave Putin the endangered baby tiger for his birthday. Them being so close and all...

My funny fails me tonight...

You know, sometimes I am ashamed to be called an American. Yes, those are harsh words - but they needed to be said. I love my country - I served in the armed forces for 7 years and am married to a man who has been serving for over 20. I understand that one of the ideals I love so much about my country is the right to free speech. But sometimes, that free speech makes me cringe and fear the future. I will let these statements (direct quotes, all of them) make my point for me.

“In Germany, the Nazis first came for the communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, but I didn’t speak up because I was a protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak for me.” - Reverend Martin Niemoeller.

I can’t wait until people like Rev. Write, Ayers, Farakkan, etc will get into power. Nazism will look like a walk in the park. You people can not argue with the facts and that is why all you can resort to is calling me names. Enjoy, your tears will come soon enough.

ANYONE WHO ATTACKS ALEXANDRA IS BECAUSE THEY ARE HIPNOTIZED BY ALL THE OBAMA S_ _T. THIS IS THE MOST RACIST MAN THAT HAS RUN FOR OFFICE. IT’S TRUE THAT HE HATES WHITES AND HE WISHES HE DIDN’T HAVE HIS MOTHER’S WHITE BLOOD IN HIM. HE IS AN ELITIST WHO LOOKS DOWN ON OTHERS AND IF YOU WANT PROOF JUST ASK JESSE JACKSON. I JUST HOPE THERE IS MUCH MORE OUT THERE THAT WILL BE KNOWN BEFORE PEOPLE VOTE. ONE GOOD PLACE TO START WOULD BE WWW.LARRYSINCLAIR.ORG. AND THEN ASK YOURSELVES IF THIS IS THE MAN THAT YOU WANT NEAR THE NUCLEAR BUTTON.

OBAMA WILL DIE, KKK FOREVER,” concludes a Feb. 15 post by “Rodney” to a blog run by a person identified only as Strider333. Above that signoff, Rodney wrote: “The KKK or someone WILL assassinate Obama! If we get a NIGGER President all you NIGGER’s [sic] will think you’ve won and that the WHITE people will have to bow to you[.] FUCK THAT.

Bill O’Reilly said this:

“I don’t want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there’s evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels. If that’s how she really feels — that America is a bad country or a flawed nation, whatever — then that’s legit.”

Everyday I hear, Obama is possibly the Anti-Christ

It is a question to ponder without denial of our troubled times as predicted in the Chapters of Revelation.

If by some miracle BO gets to be pres..you will learn the hard way what is in store. How much more proof does one need to know he has a plan, all connected to pastor wright, james h. cone and farrahkan. Ppl would actually take the chance on an unknown muslim? How sick is that?

What century is this again? What is it that compels human beings to such hatred and disregard for other humans? How is it that in this day and age, we are still worried about the color of someone's skin? And the ignorance that is evident - where the hell did these people come from?

Grrr. I like to believe that we are so much better than this - unfortunately, you'd never know it with this election. When you have racists, bigots and idiots all having their indignant fires stoked by two people who want to occupy the highest offices in the land - what message does that send? It's a slippery slope for them to be trekking, and one that does not bode well for our country as a whole.

We all bleed red, folks. It should be character, not skin color, that matters. *This* is why our race is doomed to failure at some point - because we will destroy each other like two rabid dogs vying for supremecy.

McCain lost his pants!

So, today we have McCain "needing" to know the "full extent of" Obama's relationship with William Ayers. Though the full extent of that relationship has been explained repeatedly, the Republican party is feeling a bit desperate and is falling back on their old tactic: fear-mongering. You know - the idea that they are the only ones adequate to protect this country against radicals from the 60's. A specific radical who has served on a couple of non-profit boards (BTW - those generally are *not* the kind of place where terrorism plans are created.) and happens to live in the same neighborhood as Obama. Or, let me put it this way: I know a few jackasses, a couple of whom live in my neighborhood. Does that make me a jackass too?

However, I don't hear a single outcry from McCain and his cronies about Palin's dealings. Let's see...she is in the middle of an investigation regarding inappropriate use (abuse) of power. In this investigation ("Troopergate"), she promised to cooperate fully with the bi-partisan committee (Yep. You read that right. This was no democratic crap-shoot. This came from both parties, fully committed to examining Palin's potential abuse of the Governor's Office.). Up until she was tapped for the VP nomination, that is. Suddenly, the investigation is too political? Politically motivated? Please. This investigation was ongoing long before McCain even thought of Palin as a partner. Now, state employees are afraid to testify, she's denying everything, and using McCain's lawyers to fight it all. What happened to full cooperation? Oh, wait. Those running for the White House are no longer required to follow the same rules as us regular mortals. They are now above the law - including refusing subpeonas. Talk about jackasses.


Then there's the newest issue. Palin is getting ready to become involved in another investigation as to whether her claim for $17,000 in per diem is legitimate, and whether or not she should have paid taxes on that money. See, Palin claimed that while she was home in Wasilla (her workplace is considered Juneau), she should get per diem since "a governor is on call around the clock". Which might technically be true...However, the state will, when requested, consider changing the work area when so much time is spent in another place. Palin never requested this. Instead, she just took the Alaskan taxpayers for $17,000 in "free" money. Could this be yet another reason her tax records were released early? On a day when most people are not paying attention to the news? "Middle-Class Soccer Mom" with an income of $170,000 also claims another $17,000 in per diem as non-income, which the taxpayers of her state are now responsible for. Hm. I'd have issues with that. Can you imagine the fun she would have in the White House? Lord, they'd have to fasten the furnishings down, and keep the vaults under guard when she was around! Her Secret Service name could be "Sticky Fingers"...

Then you have McCain. The big corporations must love that man. When McCain passed around his version of the homeowner bailout, it specifically said that the government would be allowed to buy these bad mortgages at discounted rates (Housing version of Costco?). This would show the declining value, and allow the homeowners to keep their homes. Sounded great - he even included a line that said, "Lenders in these cases must recognize the loss that they’ve already suffered.” (Can you see the glow from his halo?). Here's the problem. When McCain actually submitted his proposal, he took out the part about helping the homeowners. So now, his proposal suggests that the government will buy the mortgages at *face value* rather than the discounted price. If the housing market does not recover, then the homeowners stand to lose even more than if things were just left alone (Oops. So much for that halo.). Even many *conservatives* were upset by this glaring omission (that seems less like an accident than an attempt to deceive). Chalk one up for the idiotic banks that got us into this mess in the first place, and screw you to the homeowners who face losing everything.

So, we have a man who professes to live for this country and the people in it. Who says he's gonna be the man we all want. Who claims to be a "maverick". A man who is once again helping the corporations and not the people. Who may be the cause of many more people losing their homes. A man who picked, as his VP running-mate, a woman who is being investigated for abuse of power. The same woman who is now under suspicion for what amounts to stealing from her own constituents.

And McCain is worrying/preaching fear about someone knowing someone who did something somewhere in the vicinity of 40 years ago? There's a verse in that Bible that Sarah Palin likes to thump: "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" (Book of Matthew).

In other words, McCain - When you've lost your pants, it's kind of a waste of energy to be laughing at someone who only has holes in his.

In the "You're kidding, right?"* category...

A judge dismissed a lawsuit against L'Oreal recently from a woman who claimed that her bottle of blonde dye actually turned out to be brown. When she was finished with the coloring process, she was so "traumatized" by being a brunette that she had to go on anti-depressants. She also claims that her new brown hair "ruined her social life" and left her with headaches and anxiety. Ah, but wait. It gets better...She "missed the attention that blondes receive" and so she felt compelled to stay home all the time. When she did leave the house, she had to wear hats to hide her hair.

Damn. I had heard that blondes have more fun, but I had no idea that being a brunette could be so horrifying. That must explain everything that has ever gone wrong in my life. I need to rail at the gods, lock myself in my house and drink myself into a stupor. My life as I know it is now ruined.

Ok, first of all...why was she buying dye? And seriously - if this woman is that upset about being a brunette, then there are far more issues she should be dealing with than the color of her hair. Like - her pride? Her ego? Her stupidity for trying to sue with what seems to be an extremely bogus claim? Oh, wait. She's a blonde. I wonder if she sees the blonde in all those jokes as her hero...someone to look up to...

Makes me wonder...does she have white-out on her computer screen?

Note: No blondes were harmed in the relating of this news story. Nor do I have issues with blondes - I know several very intelligent blondes. This one, however - not so much. She gives blondes everywhere a bad name...

*Quote from my husband when when he heard the story.

New word of the day!

gall1 /gɔl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[gawl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	impudence; effrontery.

2.	bile, esp. that of an animal.

3.	something bitter or severe.

4.	bitterness of spirit; rancor.

For today's recipe, boys and girls, we are going to mix a pound of impudence and effrontery with a cup of bitterness of spirit, fold in something bitter and finish off with a sprinkling of bile. Half-bake, and voila! You have Sarah Palin's latest rally in California.

It's finally happened - Palin pulled the sex card. Though come to think of it, she's been dancing around it for some time - next time she *winks* at the camera, I'm going to leap through the television screen and strangle her. Anyway...As Palin tells it, if you are female and you don't "support" her bid for VP (and of course, by association, McCain for President), then there is "a place in hell" just awaitin' for ya! I kid you not.

After she was introduced at the rally, Palin announced (as if it were a sign from the heavens meant just for her) that as she was reading her Starbuck's mocha cup, she saw a quote from Madeleine Albright (former Secretary of State, UN Ambassador, and someone who most certainly does not seem to take any crap from anyone). The quote, as Palin said it, was "There's a place in hell reserved for women who don't support other women". By inference, of course, those of us who are female who believe she's not suitable for sitting in the White House are on our way to a lovely burnin'! I'm wondering - does that include women who believe in God? Does Sarah Palin have an inside line to the Head Honcho that only she knows about?

However, Palin got a smackdown regarding her quote (which was not correct in the first place) from a far more esteemed personage than myself - Ms. Albright herself took exception to the misappropriation of her line. First of all, it should read "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.". Second, that quote as said by Ms. Albright, had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with politics. But, I'll let Ms. Albright speak for herself:

"Though I am flattered that Governor Palin has chosen to cite me as a source of wisdom, what I said had nothing to do with politics. This is yet another example of McCain and Palin distorting the truth, and all the more reason to remember that this campaign is not about gender, it is about which candidate has an agenda that will improve the lives of all Americans, including women. The truth is, if you care about the status of women in our society and in our troubled economy, the best choice by far is Obama-Biden."

-Madeleine Albright (From Huffington Post)

See? Gall! If you're going to quote someone, there are a few things to remember:

1. Get it right.
2. Make sure it is context.
3. Make sure it's not going to be turned back around against you!

Maybe the next word of the day should be hubris....

How does McCain exercise his judgement?

It's a little long, but it's very interesting - and something that many of my generation are really not that aware of. McCain/Palin have been hammering Obama's judgement, honesty, and trustworthiness. This seems, to me, to be a case of not throwing rocks when you're standing in a glass house...

I'm in the wrong middle-class!

I didn't think such a thing was possible, but apparently - it is. See, in *my* middle-class, we are shopping second-hand stores for clothes for the kids. We are having "freezer week", in which we work on cleaning out the food in the freezer, because we just don't have much money to be buying a ton of groceries. We have to decide what is more important - me having more than one bra, or paying the bills (I don't like bras anyway...). And quite frankly, in *my* middle-class, we couldn't really care less about what the stock market is doing, because our problems exist in the here-and-now with the basic, everyday kind of things.

Oh, and lest I forget, we certainly cannot afford custom-made glasses where the frames ALONE run, at a *minimum*, $375. I happen to be the one in the family who needs glasses, and I am still wearing ones we purchased 5 1/2 years ago. The purchase price was a little under $300, but that included the lenses. I just got another pair of glasses (because, really - it's foolish to have only one pair when you need them for everything and you have two children, two kittens, and a clumsy dog)...those cost $125, including lenses. See, that's all we can afford.

So, I must be in the wrong middle-class, because Sarah Palin says she's from "middle-class America", and yet she had an income of $170,000 dollars last year! No, I did not add any extra zeroes. The year before? THAT must have been her middle-class year...oh, but wait...no, she still made $130,000. Dang. I guess that explains how she can afford those pretty custom-made glasses. Like the rest of her soccer-mom, middle-class America friends, right?

The Republican party decided to release those figures late last week, which apparently is the best time to try and get things buried. Traditionally, people don't pay much attention to the news on Fridays or the weekend. Well, no wonder! We're busy banging our heads against the wall, trying to figure out how we can afford Christmas this year, pay the bills, afford gas, and still be able to have an occasional fun time with the kids. So while the Republican party is trying to hide the fact that Sarah Palin's version of "middle-class" includes an income that most of America could only dream about, the rest of us "middle-class" folk are just trying to survive.

So. Where's the sign-up sheet for Palin's version of middle-class? 'Cause I must have missed it, and I'd really like to fix that...then maybe I could afford those pretty glasses too.

What age is too young?

Is a 7-year-old child able to know the difference between wrong and right? Do they understand about not harming others - human or animal? If so, is there just something fundamentally wrong with this child?

The boy in this video broke into an Australia zoo. Once in the zoo, he used a rock to beat to death several reptiles. He then proceeded to throw the bodies of those reptiles (along with a few still-living, just for a change of pace) into the resident crocodile's cage. He even climbed one of two fences to get closer to the crocodile.

Here's the kicker - there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it. In this part of Australia, a child under the age of 10 cannot be charged for a crime, and apparently, their parents cannot be charged as being in any way responsible either. Not for the Breaking & Entering, and not for the killing. So that makes me wonder - who gets held responsible for this horror? Not only for the estimated $5,500 worth of dead animals, but for the wanton waste of life?

The zoo director has said he plans to sue the parents, but how is that going to teach this child exactly how wrong what he did was? This seems to be an unpopular position in this day and age, but how are they going the teach this child about being responsible for his actions, and that all actions - positive or negative - have consequences?

If either of my children were to EVER do anything like that, regardless of age, there would be several things happening:

1. They would be responsible, over time, for the cost of the animals. I don't believe 7 is too young to start chores, and their allowance would go towards the zoo. Every. Single. Week.
2. They would spend HOURS working at the zoo, trying to undo some of the damage. Probably for the rest of their natural-born lives. And if I had any say in it, the main job would be picking up poo. Lots and lots of poo.
3. Their little butts would be glowing in the dark.
4. They would be entered in counseling IMMEDIATELY.
5. They would be making a trip to the local police station and/or juvenile hall. Get an idea of where they would be if they had been older, and where they WILL be if they continue with this kind of activity.

Of course, we are in the minority as far as believing that children can learn about such outdated notions as: responsibility, consequences, sanctity of life (even a lizard!), and OH YEAH - breaking the law!

See, the school of thought these days seems to be that children cannot understand those things until they are around age 18. At which time, it will no longer matter because they are no longer going to listen to a single thing anyone says anyway! Let 'em get to that age without teaching them, and you've lost your opportunity. That's why we have so many young idiots wandering around. Their parents wanted to be friends rather than parents and teachers.

Listen up, people! They may not *understand* the concepts, but they sure as hell can still learn about them! Then when all their brain matter (hopefully) falls into place at whatever age it happens to be, they will have the teaching and will hopefully realize that what they do matters. That the Golden Rule is there for a reason. And that B&E is illegal and that killing is not condoned.

Or, we could just wait for our future Jeffrey Dahmer's to make their presence known...

Excelled?!?

See, I knew it. It was all a nefarious plot by McCain. I can see it now..."You know what? You can play dumb! I mean, sure...you'll get some serious crap for it. But you'll be on SNL! That's good, right? And then you can come out and really wow 'em because they'll all be expecting a slaughter! That's a great idea!". And it worked.

I have literally seen one CNN correspondent (a woman, no less) who gave Palin an A+. "The plus is for wildly exceeding expectations.". Um. So? The grade shouldn't be on how bad she was expected to do, but on how she actually did!!

I'm not arguing that she did well. I will, very grudgingly, allow that she was able to pretty much hold her own. However - someone please tell me they saw how many times Palin did NOT answer the question presented to her, but instead moved on (or back, depending) to another question? If she didn't like it or didn't know it - by golly, she wasn't gonna go there. If it wasn't on her script, then it must not be an issue.

And the winking. Good grief, what was with the winking?!? I was, as a woman, very offended by that. I'm sorry, but I have a brain in my head. A fairly decent one, I've been told. I do not need to follow my points in a conversation by *winking*. Talk about stereotypical! "I'm not sure about how to answer this because we didn't cover this during 'Camp Cramming on Cliff Notes Hill'*...can I get back to you? *wink*".

How does any of this equate with an A+ performance? Never having actually seen Palin or Biden speak at length (I tend to be more of a newpaper gal), I went into this very curious. Biden ruled. He kept to the time. He answered the questions, and he answered them well. He did not talk down to Palin, nor did he make any major errors. He spoke well. He did not circle back when asked a question he didn't know how to answer ("environment" anyone?). THAT, my friends, was an A performance.

Palin kept to the time. She answered about half the questions in any way that actually gave an answer to the question. She got snarky about raising kids (though Biden held his own there). She made several errors (can someone tell me who the general is again please?!?). She circled back frequently (environment again?). It was as if she was given a list that she needed to make sure she checked off all her items: Environment? Check. Education? Check. Iraq? Check. What was that question again? Oh, don't know it....Environment? Check.

I'm disgusted by how low our expectations are of a Vice Presidential nominee (who happens to be a woman) to be able to answer questions about topics that she should know. She spoke fairly well, but that does NOT make a VP. Unless, of course, you live in America. Where dreams are high and reality is low.

*Thanks to georgia10 on DailyKos for that terrific label regarding Palin's disappearance to McCain's hideaway.

Does Biden make housecalls?

I have a headache. My headache has a name (sounds like I should be singing the B-O-L-O-G-N-A song, doesn't it?). The name of my headache? Sarah Palin.

This woman has not managed to look coherent in any of her interviews. For crying out loud, she couldn't even answer a question about what newspapers she reads. I mean, granted - there are millions of newspapers in the world. However, I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess that she doesn't read any from, say, Russia. Oh, wait - they may airdrop those, since they are such close neighbors. OK, Alabama. Probably not. Ummmm, West Virginia? Again, doubtful. It's a newspaper, lady...it wasn't a question about, say, whether or not you supported the "Bridge to Nowhere". Or whether or not you could name any Supreme Court decisions that you did not support. Nope. It was newspapers. Damn those tricky questions!

Now, why does this bother me? Because this woman is going to get on television tonight for the *only* debate she will have with Biden. A debate for which she has been prepping for, sequestered away from press or public, for a solid week. So, she may actually almost sound like she knows what she's talking about tonight. My question is this: If she sounds even marginally better than she has the last several...well, every time she's been interviewed, does that mean America (those Wal-Mart moms, in particular) will consider that a victory for her? Because she manages to not fumble every single question? If so, what the hell does that say for us "Wal-Mart" moms? Should it take the woman a solid week to be able to answer questions that she should already know, considering the office she is running for? Should our expectations, both as a nation and as Wal-Mart moms (whom many consider to be the possible deciding factor in the election), be so low that Palin might be able to overshadow every idiotic and/or lying comment she has made up until now?

Which brings me to my second issue. Palin, as a "strong" woman running for the second-highest (and, maybe someday, the highest office) in the nation, makes the rest of us women look like idiots. Or brain-surgeons, depending on your take...Point is, the good 'ole boy network has, for years and years, suggested that women are not cut out for politics. That it would be too difficult for us poor, little ladies to understand the complex world of international dealings and issues. We finally (what century is this again?!?) begin to make some serious headway into crashing the glass ceiling, and then along comes Palin, riding in on her Bridge to Nowhere. "I'll have to get back to you" ain't gonna cut it when you're looking at your next-door neighbor Putin, and trying to get him to stop slaughtering people. "In what respect...?" won't get you very far when someone wants to know how you justify beginning a war.

Like the rest of the nation, I have a sick fascination with the outcome of tonight's debate. Maybe after tonight, once and for all, my headache will go away. Then again, if she manages to spell "Alaska" correctly, I may have my headache for the next four years.

The Service Is At Noon.

Find your best black suit, gather the band, and let's play a dirge for what once was a beautiful thing - common courtesy. I mean, I'm sure it's absolutely ridiculous to mourn such a silly, old-fashioned idea as treating others as you would like to be treated. Where is the advantage in that? Really, what will it get me?

Here's a prime example. My son got hurt the other night playing with some other boys. It was an accident, though probably one that was unnecessary. After pulling him inside to keep an eye on him (for whatever reason, as he was falling forward, he didn't put out his hands and landed right square on his forehead) and make sure there was no concussion, I went outside to remind the other boys that they need to be careful with their games and how they play so that these kinds of things don't happen. Within 2 minutes of walking back in my door, the mother of the boy who had actually thrown the ball showed up on my doorstep.

Did she come by to apologize for the accident? No. Did she come by to see if my son was ok? Hell No. She came by to defend her son. She wanted to make sure that I knew he "didn't throw the ball too hard". Well, fine and dandy. I never said he did. She knows because she "was watching the whole thing" through her window. Um. Excuse me? You sat there and watched my son bash his brains on the blacktop and didn't even step outside to see if he was ok or needed help? Particularly seeing I was not right within eyeshot at that point and may not have known anything had happened? Instead, you wait until you see me talking to *all* the boys about being careful and then feel the need to step outside to interject into something that is now all taken care of?

Does anyone besides me see what is wrong with this picture? What happened to the days when, if a child started screaming in pain, ALL the parents went running to see whose it was and if they could help? Or if a child got hurt and you happened to be the only one who saw it, you would help them? Or if those options are just too time-consuming, then if you're at my flippin' house in the first place about something that happened...checking to see if a child is ok after what was a serious fall? Oh. No one cares anymore. Because, you know, since there was an accident and my child was involved, you might sue me so I don't give a damn about your child as long as I can defend mine. Against accidents. And mean bitches like you. Who seem to think that accidents happen and that a "Is your child OK?" is just not too damn much to ask for.

I'm ordering a funeral wreath to be placed at the grave site of poor, forgotten common courtesy. While I'm at it, I might order another for our lost friend common sense.