Wow. This week...well, it hasn't been my best. My attempt to block endangered species status for Beluga whales in Alaska ("drill, baby, drill") was denied. Latest polls show me as an albatross around McCain's neck (surprisingly more so than McCain himself is). Word got out that I have not only used state funds to travel with my children, but that I then turned around and edited the travel claims (to make it look like) so my children had official status during those trips...Rough, rough week. I'm just so...depressed. Must be Obama's fault. Damn terrorist.

But you know what I like to do when I have a rough week? I like to go SHOPPING! That's right - I take the shopping cure. Maybe a new hairdo, some new clothes, a few pair of new shoes...maybe even some new makeup. Lifts the spirits right up! Who could be down after spending $150,000 on a new wardrobe, right? Like most of middle-class America, I can TOTALLY relate to dropping almost $117 grand at Neiman-Marcus...over $4 grand on hair and makeup...it's even better when someone else (American taxpayers) is paying the bill! What's not to love?

And you know, when I go shopping, I really love to pick up a few things for my loved ones. Why, spending almost $5,000 on clothes for my man can really bring a smile to my face. Just the thought of how down-right dapper he'll be...giving really can be better than receiving! It's always nice to grab a little something for the kids every now and then as well...nothing like a $92 romper and matching hat to make my little pride-and-joy look so *cute*!

But it can totally bring me down when people start, just, HARPING on how much I spent! Well, golly, folks...aren't there so many "more important issues...right now" than how much of your money I spent trying to look pretty for ya'll? I mean, like when people point out that my partner in (crime) this election, John McCain, stood on the floor of the Senate in 1993 and said:

"Madam President, the amendment before the Senate is a very simple one. It restricts the use of campaign funds for inherently personal purposes. The amendment would restrict individuals from using campaign funds for such things as home mortgage payments, clothing purchases, noncampaign automobile expenses, country club memberships, and vacations or other trips that are noncampaign in nature...If we in Congress learned one thing from President Clinton's $200 haircut last week, it should be that the public does not approve of its elected officials being treated as royalty. We should be no different."

Wasn't that noble of him? Standing up to those evil Clintons and their $200 haircuts? And then, in 1994, the brave man said:

"Mr. President, I do not believe the general public is aware of how their campaign contributions are being used. I think it would be fair to say that if they did, they would be outraged, and well they should be...It is time the Congress, and those whose privilege it is to serve there, learn to live within its means. Restricting the use of campaign funds for personal purposes is a vital first step in that direction..."

What? What's that you say? No, no...of course this doesn't apply to me! He was speaking about CONGRESS, not future Vice Presidents! Vastly different, of course. Get that silly notion out of your head, that we must all be treated the same! Why, I really just don't understand what is so wrong with spending 3x the salary of the average American on clothing and hair! I'm a woman - President Clinton surely would understand the difference. Besides, McCain wrote the 2002 campaign finance law, so who better to (exploit) understand the nuances? *wink*.

So, really. Having this conversation is just not going to get us anywhere. I have more important things I could be doing - updating my wardrobe (September was such a long time ago!), paying bounties to hunters who have killed wolves and brought me the forelegs as a trophy, trying to keep an eye on Russia, and most importantly, explaining how Wasilla is *real* America: