Keep it up, Palin!

After the election, I hoped that Sarah Palin would just...disappear. Honestly, I knew it was unlikely, but I still had hope. However, I have decided that I want her to stick around doing stupid stuff and saying stupid crap. I hear you asking, "Why?!?". Because she's terrific at raising money for causes she despises.

She has single-handedly managed to get an additional $1 million (yep, million) raised for Planned Parenthood. And all without lifting one of her well-manicured fingers for the cause. You see, back during the election, an email was circulated challenging people to donate to PP in Palin's name. Not only that, but to put Palin's address on the donation form, so that she would get the thank-you cards from PP. Some 40-something-thousand cards later, Ms. Palin is less than amused and is calling it "political theatre". While Planned Parenthood is denying that they had anything to do with the email (and in all honesty, they probably didn't), they are certainly not above taking the money!

Then you have the aerial hunting that Palin endorses...Defenders of Wildlife is trying to get it banned, and apparently there are some who have used the same idea from PP and donated money to Defenders in Palin's name. She's not amused by those thank-you's either. Bummer. Though in this case, she says it is from the "anti-hunting groups", which is a bit misleading. It's not hunting in general that Defenders and other groups are protesting, it's AERIAL hunting. For those unfamiliar with aerial hunting, this is how it works:

1. Find a wolf pack.
2. Chase them with a plane or helicopter until they are absolutely too exhausted to go any further and/or defend themselves.
3. Land the plane/helo and walk towards the wolf you have "chosen".
4. Shoot it. Hopefully kill it the with the first shot, but...if not...oh, well.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have no issues with hunting as a sport. I grew up in a hunting family, and we ate venison and elk for the majority of our meals. But in what world is it a "sport" to chase an animal down first until it can barely move and then walk up and kill it? I was raised in a family that had 2 main rules with hunting:

1. You kill what you eat, and
2. If you can't kill it fairly, then you don't deserve to kill it.

I fail to see how either one of those rules would apply with the wolf hunting as it is currently done in the state of Alaska. There is not a single thing fair about aerial hunting - in fact, the hunters have so stacked the deck that the wolves have absolutely no chance at all to survive. Honestly, many hunters would say that this isn't really even hunting in any sense of the traditional word. And this is the "hunting" that Gov. Sarah Palin says is so vital to Alaska.

So, I hope that if Palin isn't going to just fade away into the sunset, then she can continue at least helping to defeat her own causes. Because I love irony, and it just doesn't get much better than this!

I hear a bucket of water works well...

Well, apparently the Wicked Witch is still alive and thriving in Grosse Point Farms, Michigan. She must have hitched a ride back when the "Great OZ" took off in his hot air balloon...maybe clinging to the underside of the basket with her nose?

Anyway, the newest incarnation of the Wicked Witch goes by the alias of Shirley Nagel. Ms. Nagel declared herself on the most appropriate of days - Halloween. Apparently, she realized that the holiday has become too much about the children and not enough about the mean and nasty, and she made a vow to fix that. So, she tried her hardest in a one-witch campaign.

Ms. Witch decided that the only children she would give Halloween treats to would be the children of those people who voted/will be voting for John McCain and Sarah Palin. Apparently there was a quiz before the treating, and unfortunately, many children failed and ended up tricked instead. She posted a sign outside her house that read "No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters or kids of supporters.". Her reasoning? That Obama is "scary". Her reaction when asked about the children turned away crying? "Oh well. Everybody has a choice."

She's right - sort of. The PARENTS have a choice. But she effectively took away any choice those children had. And everyone has a right to choose whether or not they will hand out candy and to whom. However, having said that - it is completely unfair to those children. The majority of trick-or-treaters tend to be the younger children who have little or no concept of the election or who their parents may be voting for. Nor will they understand why other kids got candy, but not them. What are their parents supposed to say to that? "I'm sorry sweetie - it's all my fault because I'm voting for the person I believe would run our country the best...but I'll change that so you can have some candy!".

I have no problem with people choosing who to vote for, and that is a huge part of this country as it stands. But when grown adults start acting like bullies and picking on children so that they can make a point or take a stand - then I have to wonder about not only those people, but those they are voting for. I'm hearing way too many stories of McCain/Palin supporters showing their true natures - nooses, picking on children, cries of "kill" at McCain/Palin rallies...the same things that the conservative, racist bigots said were going to happen with the Obama supporters. Their fears brought to life when they looked in the mirror...

Would it make me kin to the witch to hope that she got some lovely "treats" visited upon her? Maybe someone could free all her flying monkeys...

I'm a sexist terrorist!

All this attention paid to Palin's little spending spree has the McCain camp up in arms, crying out to anyone who will listen that it's "sexism". Um, excuse me, but I beg to differ. Is it sexism to question why and how a candidate would spend that much money in two days on clothes, makeup and hair? Is it sexism to wonder why a stylist would get paid more than a top foreign policy advisor? Or is it just being a good ("real") American, to ask why these things are necessary and where the funding came from?

I seem to remember a few flaps regarding hair cuts in the past - and they were with men. I heard no cries of sexism on those...but then again, it was the Republican party pointing fingers last time. So apparently, what's good for the goose is NOT good for the gander. Putting it another way- it's ok for the Republican party to spend loads of money (substantially more than the aforementioned haircuts), but heaven help anyone else who may consider wasting their taxpayer's dollars in the same fashion.

McCain and Palin both seem to have entitlement issues, regardless of the fallout for the people they are sworn to serve. And if anyone has the gall to question their decisions, then they are said to be "un-American"...and may I go so far as to say they might even be labelled a "terrorist". These two aren't interested in helping the American people - they are interested in absolute rule.

God save the King.

Hello? 911? Can I order a pizza?

So by now, I'm assuming you've heard about the brouhaha regarding John McCain's brother Joe. But, just in case you haven't, here's the lowdown...Joe called 911 when he was stuck in traffic to complain and see what the holdup was. When the 911 operator asked him if he was calling 911 to complain about traffic, Joe's eloquent reply was "&%@# you" as he hung up...he apparently has his brother's amazing speaking skills...

Anyway, as required, the 911 operator called 'ole Joe back, got his voicemail, and left a message to the effect that it is against the law to call 911 for anything not emergency-related. Joe, being the efficient man that he apparently is, got his message within a relatively short period of time and was none too happy. So what does he decide to do? That's right...he called 911 *back* to complain that "somebody just gave me this riot act about the violation of police". Seriously. How stupid does one have to be here?!

Now, I realize it's not Joe running for President. I do. However, I do have a couple of beefs about this. First - McCain (John) has always been accused of having anger-management issues, and this certainly does not help his case. This is exactly the sort of thing that people would expect from him. Not only that, but what kind of brother is that big of a jack-ass as to pull something like that? Is the McCain family trait popping up? Apple not falling far from the tree and all that?

But here's my biggest peeve about the whole thing - I was a radioman in the CG for a little over 7 years. There is absolutely nothing like having some idiot calling "mayday" over nothing, or doing it as a prank. It wastes valuable time and potentially blocks a line someone else in REAL trouble may be trying to get through on. It is no different for a 911 operator. These people are there to help save lives, not deal with some asshole with entitlement issues. Alexandria is a very large, very busy place. What if there was a mother who was trying to get help for a choking child? A wife whose husband was having a heart attack? A man who had been shot and needed assistance? Any one of those situations could be happening at any time of day, and what happens if the phone line is busy? Because traffic is too slow and we have someone who thinks they're above the law? As far as I'm concerned, he should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law...and his license should be suspended for some amount of time. See how worried about traffic you are when you're on public transportation, buddy!

It just amazes me how stupid people can be. This is certainly not limited to politicians, but it seems to show up more with them. I saw a great sticker the other day...it said:

Elect Obama and Biden - two brains are better than none.

That's what we'll get with McCain and Palin...no brains and a religious agenda. Maybe they should dress up as the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz? Or Palin could be the scarecrow and McCain could be the tin man. Can't you just see them skipping into the white house, singing about their yellow brick road?

God help us all.

Pray for knees all across America

I am so...depressed. I just learned that I am not a REAL American. All this time, worrying about the state of my country and the plight of the people within it, and I find out that my concern was wrong and unnecessary. I feel so...betrayed...by my naivete, my bleeding-heart status, my misplaced tears.

Apparently, REAL Americans live only in small towns, and only in certain portions of the country. Here is how you can tell the true patriots from...um...the rest of us:

*They do not believe in a woman's right to choose. They *do* believe in forcing a woman who has survived rape and/or incest to bear and birth a child from that terrible act.

*They do not believe in allowing gays to marry or to have the same rights as other humans. They *do* believe that gays can be "cured" by slapping them with enough religion to fell an angel.

*They do not profess to be racists or bigots. They *do* believe that anyone of Muslim descent is to be feared and hated...and that the wife of the African-American (oops. Better remove the "American"...) Presidential candidate should be "lynched" and "tracked down". But only if it's proven "100%" that she believes "that America is a bad country or a flawed nation"... (BTW - name just one country that isn't in some way flawed. I dare you.).

So basically, the rest of us are unnecessary and unwanted. If we have even a glimmer of hope that we might one day be considered real Americans, then we must hasten to do at least one of these things (Sort of like an initiation. But that would be Un-American.):

1. Pray for the eternally damned souls of women who have had abortions, regardless the circumstances.

2. Pray for the eternally damned souls of gays.

3. Pray for the eternally damned souls of Muslims (and anyone else who is not white-bread, "Christian" American).

4. Pray for the eternally damned souls of anyone who questions church and/or state.

And for those of you who thought you were grandfathered into the "real American" category simply because you or a loved one has served this country in the Armed Forces - guess again. Here's why - there are Muslims who have died for our country. Blacks have died for our country. But if they didn't, or wouldn't have, supported a McCain/Palin White House, then they were *not* REAL AMERICANS. So while you're praying, better pray for their eternally damned souls as well.

Better get some knee-pads.

"Why I'd Be a Better VP than Sarah Palin"

I'd like to formally submit myself to replace Sarah Palin on the GOP ticket. I feel confident that John McCain will see that the very attributes he desired in his VP choice can be met, and even exceeded in some areas, by me. For your consideration, my big, fat résumé:

1. Focus on the Family

I am the mother of five children, just like Governor Palin. I have known the demands of managing a full-time career and motherhood at the same time. I have juggled a breast pump and a BlackBerry, and I know when to put the BlackBerry down. (To be perfectly honest, I did once send a text to the baby and tried to nurse my bass player. You learn from your mistakes.)

2. Reproductive Issues

I also believe that a teenager's pregnancy is a "private family matter." In fact, I believe that every woman's pregnancy is a "private, family matter." (I bet the GOP never thought of making that leap!)

3. Church and State

Like the Governor, I now also believe that my will is perfectly aligned with God's will. When Governor Palin said that it was God's will for the Alaska pipeline to be built and asked for people to pray for that to happen, I was really inspired by her confidence in the absolute, seamless integration of her will and God's will. I have begun practicing this kind of supreme confidence on a smaller scale, but I am sure that I can quickly move to national issues. Starting with the sartorial, I know that it is God's will that I have the entire Chanel collection for the fall season, including those adorable high-heeled booties that were all over the runway shows.

(A couple things I'm still having trouble with regarding the will of God: I knew it was God's will that I win the Grammy in 2007 for my last record, but Bob Dylan won. This is clearly the work of Satan, but shouldn't my will/God's will have been strong enough to override that? And this Alaska pipeline--if it is God's will to have the pipeline built, then why isn't it built already? On a related topic, I don't own a single piece of Chanel.)

4. Environment

Along with Governor Palin, I don't believe that humans cause climate change.

(Okay, that is a bold-faced lie, but I've been paying really close attention to the campaign stump speeches, and I feel certain I am allowed a generous allotment of bold-faced lies.)

5. Foreign policy

Here's where I really shine. Governor Palin got her first passport in 2007. I got my first passport in 1970, when the Governor was only 6 years old! Not only do I have a passport, I have actually been outside of the United States, dozens of times. I have had relationships and conversations with real foreigners, in their own countries, in restaurants, shops, flea markets, museums, nightclubs, spas, hotels, all modes of public transportation, and even in their own homes. My foreign policies are fair, inclusive and sensitive to cultural differences. I don't ask for English Breakfast tea when I'm in France. I never call foreign currency "funny money" (even though it does look funny.) I don't shout at people to help them better understand English and, finally, I act on God's will when in Paris by going to Chanel, and to all the great boutiques, which is just an extension of God's will, as you can surely extrapolate by the above explanation of my will/God's will.

I know Governor Palin has one distinct advantage in living so close to Russia, in that she can keep a close eye on nefarious activity across the Bering Strait, but I, too, live very close to a foreign country. Canada is less than 400 miles from my home in New York City, and you never know when it might become necessary to invade a sovereign nation that has not attacked us, as we learned the hard way. Not only that, I have a girlfriend in Austin, Texas, whom I'm going to ask to keep an eye on Mexico.

6. Legal Experience

My understanding of the law is extensive, but here are a couple of cogent points: a photographer who thought I had used his photograph of me without his permission sued me. (I absolutely didn't use the photo without permission. When McCain does his meticulous vetting and background checks on me, I will explain the whole story. It was all a big misunderstanding.)

More importantly, I renegotiated my contract with the Sony Corporation in 1987. That was huge. You should have seen my legal bills. I negotiated an all-new contract with Capitol Records in 1995 and that, too, was an exhausting, contentious, but ultimately lucrative enterprise. Entertainment law is a blood sport, people. (Speaking of blood sports, I have to give it up to the Governor on the hunting issue. I have never shot a wolf from a helicopter, but I have thrown my cat off the bed. Hundreds of times.)

7. Higher Education

Governor Palin went to five different colleges to get her BS in journalism, but none of the colleges had entry requirements, whereas I went to a university that required a trigonometry credit before they would admit me. I had to take it the summer before school started. I don't remember a frigging thing, but I got a B. The other disparities in education are too numerous to mention, but suffice to say that I bet she never met Lee Strasberg.

It is true that I have no background in constitutional law, but I have read the Constitution, except for the amendments that don't have anything to do with me, and I watched the entire John Adams mini-series on HBO. Twice.

8. Ethics

I really think this whole investigation into the firing of the top state law enforcement official in Alaska, who wouldn't fire the state trooper who was mean to the Governor's sister, is just overblown. I once fired my assistant for making a pass at my husband, so I can totally understand this! And I would have fired an assistant who made a pass at my sister's husband, too. I love my sisters. Governor Palin loves her sister. People need to get over it.

But speaking of family, I've also had my fill of no-good boyfriends to my daughters, and boy, do I sympathize with the Governor over this Levi fellow and his MySpace page, with the guns and the cursing. My husband once took a broken chair out into the street to chase away a no-good boyfriend of my oldest daughter, and we didn't see the likes of him anymore. I have a zero-tolerance policy for miscreant youth, and I know I could help the Governor sort out her obviously conflicted feelings about setting limits for teenagers, just for her own peace of mind.

9. Iraq

The Governor says she hasn't "focused" on the war in Iraq, but I think she's just joshing us. No person in an executive position in the government of the United States could be so lazy that they would not familiarize themselves with every angle of what is potentially the greatest American debacle since the nation was founded, including all the terminology, like "Bush Doctrine."

If she's not kidding, then I respectfully submit the hate mail I received in 2003, at the beginning of the war, which came after my press conference with Musicians United To Win Without War, as proof of my "focus."

10. Executive Ability

Governor Palin was the mayor of a real town of 5,000 people. I have never been mayor of anything, but I have performed for crowds bigger than the population of Wasilla, Alaska, and I can tell you it's no picnic getting the monitors just right, working with cranky and egotistical musicians, changing clothes in dirty dressing rooms and eating bad backstage food, handling the hecklers and technical problems during a show, and then getting on the bus to go somewhere else and do it all over again the next night. Also, my last record sold about the population of Wasilla times forty, and they all seemed to like it. But dealing with the public is really difficult and they all have opinions about you, which are usually all wrong, so I've developed a thick skin, another requirement for life as the VP. Lastly, and the importance of this cannot be over-emphasized, the guy's head on the tail of the Alaska Airlines planes looks like my dad.

11. Maverick personality

Finally, there is one subject in which I find I am even more conservative than the Governor, and that is in the area of neo-natal responsibility. The Governor was eight months pregnant and in Texas to give a speech, when her water broke. She reportedly made her speech and then traveled eleven hours, dripping amniotic fluid, bypassing Seattle and Anchorage (major cities with world-class hospitals) to travel to a small hospital in Wasilla that had no neo-natal intensive care unit, and gave birth there. Call me a wimp, call me insecure, but you had better also call me a maverick, because I would have said "Damn the schedule! Damn the speech and the airline ticket!" If this had been me, as soon as my water broke, I'd be at the closest hospital and that baby would have been born in Texas! Just like my mom!

In summation, I present myself to the GOP as a woman, and I repeat, woman, who has held a passport for thirty-eight years, a lip gloss-wearing soccer-volleyball-softball-gymnastics mom of five, who can carry a six-pack home to her husband like nobody's business, whose will is firmly aligned with God's will, a neo-natal conservative and legally savvy public figure, a border-watching, trigonometry-credited, breastfeeding, BlackBerry-tapping, cat-throwing maverick whose daughters are out of their teens, therefore immune to teenage pregnancy (although this is a private, family matter), and whose dad's head (or an eerie facsimile) adorns a state airline.

I could offer more to recommend me to the job of vice president, but one last special quality that I share with Governor Palin is the fact that I also have a husband who wants his state to secede from the Union. Ever since the 2000 election, my husband has been all for the secession of not only New York, but the island of Manhattan! And I have to tell you, if Sarah Palin becomes vice president of the United States, he says we have to personally secede from the whole country. So please, people, write me in on the ballot in November, or write me in New Zealand, where I'll be making my new home.

Rosanne Cash is a singer-songwriter, and even though she has met Presidents Bush and Clinton (who appeared to note her décolletage with great appreciation), the ambassador to the Czech Republic and George Stevens, who produces the Kennedy Center Honors awards show, she does not think her knowledge of world leaders should be held against her, because her experience in Washington is limited to three days during the Million Mom March.

"You're not a jedi yet..."

Point A to Point B - via Russia

Does the woman ever truly answer a question? Is she capable of doing that? I mean really - it's like asking her what 2+2 is and being told that 5+5 = 25, and gee whiz, don'tcha know? *wink*

To which particular incident am I referring this time? When asked by a reporter about the investigation's finding that she had abused her power while in office, her response was "No, and if you read the report you'll see that there was nothing unlawful or unethical about replacing a cabinet member. You gotta read the report, sir.".

Um. I'm thinking he did read the report, or he wouldn't have asked you the question. About abuse of power. Not the firing of Monegan. About abusing your power. Like, trying to get your former brother-in-law fired. Because you were holding a grudge. Oh, and letting your right-hand man, the "first dude"(Are you kidding me?! Blech.), make the phone calls from your office...which certainly seemed to give your tacit approval (*wink, wink*). But of course, there's nothing like plausible deniability (more winking)...well, golly, I wouldn't ever do such a thing! Not lil ole' me...(anymore winking and I'll vomit)...

Seriously. Can someone please just pin her down on something?!? Her real hair color? What the term "maverick" really means to her? How Obama's connection to a radical is any worse than her own, more recent connections and their active support? Hell, I'd be happy with an honest explanation of how she can see Russia from her window...

Ah, well. Maybe she's the one who gave Putin the endangered baby tiger for his birthday. Them being so close and all...

McCain lost his pants!

So, today we have McCain "needing" to know the "full extent of" Obama's relationship with William Ayers. Though the full extent of that relationship has been explained repeatedly, the Republican party is feeling a bit desperate and is falling back on their old tactic: fear-mongering. You know - the idea that they are the only ones adequate to protect this country against radicals from the 60's. A specific radical who has served on a couple of non-profit boards (BTW - those generally are *not* the kind of place where terrorism plans are created.) and happens to live in the same neighborhood as Obama. Or, let me put it this way: I know a few jackasses, a couple of whom live in my neighborhood. Does that make me a jackass too?

However, I don't hear a single outcry from McCain and his cronies about Palin's dealings. Let's see...she is in the middle of an investigation regarding inappropriate use (abuse) of power. In this investigation ("Troopergate"), she promised to cooperate fully with the bi-partisan committee (Yep. You read that right. This was no democratic crap-shoot. This came from both parties, fully committed to examining Palin's potential abuse of the Governor's Office.). Up until she was tapped for the VP nomination, that is. Suddenly, the investigation is too political? Politically motivated? Please. This investigation was ongoing long before McCain even thought of Palin as a partner. Now, state employees are afraid to testify, she's denying everything, and using McCain's lawyers to fight it all. What happened to full cooperation? Oh, wait. Those running for the White House are no longer required to follow the same rules as us regular mortals. They are now above the law - including refusing subpeonas. Talk about jackasses.


Then there's the newest issue. Palin is getting ready to become involved in another investigation as to whether her claim for $17,000 in per diem is legitimate, and whether or not she should have paid taxes on that money. See, Palin claimed that while she was home in Wasilla (her workplace is considered Juneau), she should get per diem since "a governor is on call around the clock". Which might technically be true...However, the state will, when requested, consider changing the work area when so much time is spent in another place. Palin never requested this. Instead, she just took the Alaskan taxpayers for $17,000 in "free" money. Could this be yet another reason her tax records were released early? On a day when most people are not paying attention to the news? "Middle-Class Soccer Mom" with an income of $170,000 also claims another $17,000 in per diem as non-income, which the taxpayers of her state are now responsible for. Hm. I'd have issues with that. Can you imagine the fun she would have in the White House? Lord, they'd have to fasten the furnishings down, and keep the vaults under guard when she was around! Her Secret Service name could be "Sticky Fingers"...

Then you have McCain. The big corporations must love that man. When McCain passed around his version of the homeowner bailout, it specifically said that the government would be allowed to buy these bad mortgages at discounted rates (Housing version of Costco?). This would show the declining value, and allow the homeowners to keep their homes. Sounded great - he even included a line that said, "Lenders in these cases must recognize the loss that they’ve already suffered.” (Can you see the glow from his halo?). Here's the problem. When McCain actually submitted his proposal, he took out the part about helping the homeowners. So now, his proposal suggests that the government will buy the mortgages at *face value* rather than the discounted price. If the housing market does not recover, then the homeowners stand to lose even more than if things were just left alone (Oops. So much for that halo.). Even many *conservatives* were upset by this glaring omission (that seems less like an accident than an attempt to deceive). Chalk one up for the idiotic banks that got us into this mess in the first place, and screw you to the homeowners who face losing everything.

So, we have a man who professes to live for this country and the people in it. Who says he's gonna be the man we all want. Who claims to be a "maverick". A man who is once again helping the corporations and not the people. Who may be the cause of many more people losing their homes. A man who picked, as his VP running-mate, a woman who is being investigated for abuse of power. The same woman who is now under suspicion for what amounts to stealing from her own constituents.

And McCain is worrying/preaching fear about someone knowing someone who did something somewhere in the vicinity of 40 years ago? There's a verse in that Bible that Sarah Palin likes to thump: "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" (Book of Matthew).

In other words, McCain - When you've lost your pants, it's kind of a waste of energy to be laughing at someone who only has holes in his.

New word of the day!

gall1 /gɔl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[gawl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	impudence; effrontery.

2.	bile, esp. that of an animal.

3.	something bitter or severe.

4.	bitterness of spirit; rancor.

For today's recipe, boys and girls, we are going to mix a pound of impudence and effrontery with a cup of bitterness of spirit, fold in something bitter and finish off with a sprinkling of bile. Half-bake, and voila! You have Sarah Palin's latest rally in California.

It's finally happened - Palin pulled the sex card. Though come to think of it, she's been dancing around it for some time - next time she *winks* at the camera, I'm going to leap through the television screen and strangle her. Anyway...As Palin tells it, if you are female and you don't "support" her bid for VP (and of course, by association, McCain for President), then there is "a place in hell" just awaitin' for ya! I kid you not.

After she was introduced at the rally, Palin announced (as if it were a sign from the heavens meant just for her) that as she was reading her Starbuck's mocha cup, she saw a quote from Madeleine Albright (former Secretary of State, UN Ambassador, and someone who most certainly does not seem to take any crap from anyone). The quote, as Palin said it, was "There's a place in hell reserved for women who don't support other women". By inference, of course, those of us who are female who believe she's not suitable for sitting in the White House are on our way to a lovely burnin'! I'm wondering - does that include women who believe in God? Does Sarah Palin have an inside line to the Head Honcho that only she knows about?

However, Palin got a smackdown regarding her quote (which was not correct in the first place) from a far more esteemed personage than myself - Ms. Albright herself took exception to the misappropriation of her line. First of all, it should read "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.". Second, that quote as said by Ms. Albright, had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with politics. But, I'll let Ms. Albright speak for herself:

"Though I am flattered that Governor Palin has chosen to cite me as a source of wisdom, what I said had nothing to do with politics. This is yet another example of McCain and Palin distorting the truth, and all the more reason to remember that this campaign is not about gender, it is about which candidate has an agenda that will improve the lives of all Americans, including women. The truth is, if you care about the status of women in our society and in our troubled economy, the best choice by far is Obama-Biden."

-Madeleine Albright (From Huffington Post)

See? Gall! If you're going to quote someone, there are a few things to remember:

1. Get it right.
2. Make sure it is context.
3. Make sure it's not going to be turned back around against you!

Maybe the next word of the day should be hubris....

How does McCain exercise his judgement?

It's a little long, but it's very interesting - and something that many of my generation are really not that aware of. McCain/Palin have been hammering Obama's judgement, honesty, and trustworthiness. This seems, to me, to be a case of not throwing rocks when you're standing in a glass house...

I'm in the wrong middle-class!

I didn't think such a thing was possible, but apparently - it is. See, in *my* middle-class, we are shopping second-hand stores for clothes for the kids. We are having "freezer week", in which we work on cleaning out the food in the freezer, because we just don't have much money to be buying a ton of groceries. We have to decide what is more important - me having more than one bra, or paying the bills (I don't like bras anyway...). And quite frankly, in *my* middle-class, we couldn't really care less about what the stock market is doing, because our problems exist in the here-and-now with the basic, everyday kind of things.

Oh, and lest I forget, we certainly cannot afford custom-made glasses where the frames ALONE run, at a *minimum*, $375. I happen to be the one in the family who needs glasses, and I am still wearing ones we purchased 5 1/2 years ago. The purchase price was a little under $300, but that included the lenses. I just got another pair of glasses (because, really - it's foolish to have only one pair when you need them for everything and you have two children, two kittens, and a clumsy dog)...those cost $125, including lenses. See, that's all we can afford.

So, I must be in the wrong middle-class, because Sarah Palin says she's from "middle-class America", and yet she had an income of $170,000 dollars last year! No, I did not add any extra zeroes. The year before? THAT must have been her middle-class year...oh, but wait...no, she still made $130,000. Dang. I guess that explains how she can afford those pretty custom-made glasses. Like the rest of her soccer-mom, middle-class America friends, right?

The Republican party decided to release those figures late last week, which apparently is the best time to try and get things buried. Traditionally, people don't pay much attention to the news on Fridays or the weekend. Well, no wonder! We're busy banging our heads against the wall, trying to figure out how we can afford Christmas this year, pay the bills, afford gas, and still be able to have an occasional fun time with the kids. So while the Republican party is trying to hide the fact that Sarah Palin's version of "middle-class" includes an income that most of America could only dream about, the rest of us "middle-class" folk are just trying to survive.

So. Where's the sign-up sheet for Palin's version of middle-class? 'Cause I must have missed it, and I'd really like to fix that...then maybe I could afford those pretty glasses too.

Excelled?!?

See, I knew it. It was all a nefarious plot by McCain. I can see it now..."You know what? You can play dumb! I mean, sure...you'll get some serious crap for it. But you'll be on SNL! That's good, right? And then you can come out and really wow 'em because they'll all be expecting a slaughter! That's a great idea!". And it worked.

I have literally seen one CNN correspondent (a woman, no less) who gave Palin an A+. "The plus is for wildly exceeding expectations.". Um. So? The grade shouldn't be on how bad she was expected to do, but on how she actually did!!

I'm not arguing that she did well. I will, very grudgingly, allow that she was able to pretty much hold her own. However - someone please tell me they saw how many times Palin did NOT answer the question presented to her, but instead moved on (or back, depending) to another question? If she didn't like it or didn't know it - by golly, she wasn't gonna go there. If it wasn't on her script, then it must not be an issue.

And the winking. Good grief, what was with the winking?!? I was, as a woman, very offended by that. I'm sorry, but I have a brain in my head. A fairly decent one, I've been told. I do not need to follow my points in a conversation by *winking*. Talk about stereotypical! "I'm not sure about how to answer this because we didn't cover this during 'Camp Cramming on Cliff Notes Hill'*...can I get back to you? *wink*".

How does any of this equate with an A+ performance? Never having actually seen Palin or Biden speak at length (I tend to be more of a newpaper gal), I went into this very curious. Biden ruled. He kept to the time. He answered the questions, and he answered them well. He did not talk down to Palin, nor did he make any major errors. He spoke well. He did not circle back when asked a question he didn't know how to answer ("environment" anyone?). THAT, my friends, was an A performance.

Palin kept to the time. She answered about half the questions in any way that actually gave an answer to the question. She got snarky about raising kids (though Biden held his own there). She made several errors (can someone tell me who the general is again please?!?). She circled back frequently (environment again?). It was as if she was given a list that she needed to make sure she checked off all her items: Environment? Check. Education? Check. Iraq? Check. What was that question again? Oh, don't know it....Environment? Check.

I'm disgusted by how low our expectations are of a Vice Presidential nominee (who happens to be a woman) to be able to answer questions about topics that she should know. She spoke fairly well, but that does NOT make a VP. Unless, of course, you live in America. Where dreams are high and reality is low.

*Thanks to georgia10 on DailyKos for that terrific label regarding Palin's disappearance to McCain's hideaway.

Does Biden make housecalls?

I have a headache. My headache has a name (sounds like I should be singing the B-O-L-O-G-N-A song, doesn't it?). The name of my headache? Sarah Palin.

This woman has not managed to look coherent in any of her interviews. For crying out loud, she couldn't even answer a question about what newspapers she reads. I mean, granted - there are millions of newspapers in the world. However, I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess that she doesn't read any from, say, Russia. Oh, wait - they may airdrop those, since they are such close neighbors. OK, Alabama. Probably not. Ummmm, West Virginia? Again, doubtful. It's a newspaper, lady...it wasn't a question about, say, whether or not you supported the "Bridge to Nowhere". Or whether or not you could name any Supreme Court decisions that you did not support. Nope. It was newspapers. Damn those tricky questions!

Now, why does this bother me? Because this woman is going to get on television tonight for the *only* debate she will have with Biden. A debate for which she has been prepping for, sequestered away from press or public, for a solid week. So, she may actually almost sound like she knows what she's talking about tonight. My question is this: If she sounds even marginally better than she has the last several...well, every time she's been interviewed, does that mean America (those Wal-Mart moms, in particular) will consider that a victory for her? Because she manages to not fumble every single question? If so, what the hell does that say for us "Wal-Mart" moms? Should it take the woman a solid week to be able to answer questions that she should already know, considering the office she is running for? Should our expectations, both as a nation and as Wal-Mart moms (whom many consider to be the possible deciding factor in the election), be so low that Palin might be able to overshadow every idiotic and/or lying comment she has made up until now?

Which brings me to my second issue. Palin, as a "strong" woman running for the second-highest (and, maybe someday, the highest office) in the nation, makes the rest of us women look like idiots. Or brain-surgeons, depending on your take...Point is, the good 'ole boy network has, for years and years, suggested that women are not cut out for politics. That it would be too difficult for us poor, little ladies to understand the complex world of international dealings and issues. We finally (what century is this again?!?) begin to make some serious headway into crashing the glass ceiling, and then along comes Palin, riding in on her Bridge to Nowhere. "I'll have to get back to you" ain't gonna cut it when you're looking at your next-door neighbor Putin, and trying to get him to stop slaughtering people. "In what respect...?" won't get you very far when someone wants to know how you justify beginning a war.

Like the rest of the nation, I have a sick fascination with the outcome of tonight's debate. Maybe after tonight, once and for all, my headache will go away. Then again, if she manages to spell "Alaska" correctly, I may have my headache for the next four years.

Demon in Disguise

I don't understand the direction this election has taken. For example, I have a very close friend who has been a democrat for as long as I've known her. She believes very strongly in environmental causes. She believes in women's rights. She does not believe in NCLB and its related garbage. So why is she planning on voting for McCain?

Here's the problem - many people, my friend included, believe that Obama simply hasn't provided enough concrete examples of what "change" means to him. That means that they also don't understand how it would affect the country as a whole were he to be elected President. And as human beings, we tend to prefer the known (even if it clashes with our entire belief system) than to trust in the unknown.

So, while McCain successfully keeps all attention on his running mate and not on the important issues at hand, Obama flounders and looks for a way to fix it. While McCain and Palin both lie and distort the truth repeatedly, neither of them is addressing the important issues: education, the environment and the economy being a few of them. While Roe vs. Wade looks into the abyss, the "news" agencies gossip about Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter.

Until Obama can rally and begin to point out the crap for what it is, and begins to give solid examples of what "change" we Americans could expect, liberal white women will continue to flock to McCain and his VP candidate. Like a horse being led to slaughter, they will walk blindly into the trap that McCain and his GOP pals have laid, and will hand over any hope this country has of righting itself from the last 8 years. And then, only after the noose has tightened, will it become apparent that sometimes the known element really is the demon in disguise.

Are You Kidding Me?!?

Whoever this woman is, let me just take a moment to be grateful she's not on the PTA of any school my children might ever attend.

*Moment of silence*

Ok, carry on. How ridiculous is this? Listen, I'm not a huge fan of McCain, but this would hold true regardless of political party - a responsible parent does not sacrifice their children's education for politics. And the notion that someone "famous" or "well-off" can lift up an entire school just by enrolling their children? Absurd.

Face facts, folks. The only way our schools are going to have a chance is if we stop muddying up the waters with BS like this. Does it matter where Obama, McCain, Biden or Palin send their children? Not unless they are enrolling them in "Bombmaking 101". Does it matter that our educational system is failing across the board? That as parents, we count ourselves "lucky" if we live close to a good public school instead of expecting them *all* to be that way? That we can spend billions upon billions of dollars fighting a war that has nothing to do with us but cannot manage to find the funds to make sure our children have the knowledge to compete in an increasingly global world?! Hell, yes it does!

Where a candidate sends their children for an education means nothing. What a candidate can do about our failing educational system means everything.

Like the rest of us?

I was driving around today, getting son #1 to school and listening to a radio program, when I heard someone say that Sarah Palin is so wonderful because she is "just like the rest of us". Now, I know she projects that image (as she is supposed to), but I think I'm offended at the notion that she is just like me. Here's why:

1. I have never been under investigation for misuse of ANYTHING - let alone misuse of the power that comes with a public office. Sarah Palin is not undergoing just one investigation, however. She is in the middle of TWO. Concurrently. Unless I'm missing something, that certainly does NOT make her like the majority of Americans.

2. I have never endorsed the gunning down of any animals as a sport, let alone when it's done by airplane. In my mind, that kind of takes away any sport that might have been involved in the first place. Now, don't get me wrong - my family hunts deer and elk. I grew up hunting. But...it is not done for sport. We eat the animals as part of our food for winter, and we go into it with a profound sense of thankfulness for what we have.

Last I checked, wolves are not eaten for food. Not by humans, anyway. And even if they were - following a wolf pack in a plane and shooting animals down without AT LEAST taking the time and making the effort to track them down yourselves marks a hunter as less than honest and extremely lazy. In fact, I hesitate to use the term "hunter" for something like this.

Here's where we get back to Sarah Palin - as Governor of Alaska, she has not only allowed this travesty to occur, but she has openly ENDORSED it! I refuse to believe that I am "just like" her.

3. I believe in a woman's right to choose. Period. The driving force in the camp trying to remove this choice is that "it is a sin". Well, maybe it is. But I believe that sin is between a woman and whatever God she chooses to believe (or not) in. And the cornerstone of almost every religion is that 'true salvation' comes when a person CHOOSES to believe and repent - not when that choice is made for them by someone else. My body + My soul = My choice.

Having said that, I'm sure people would wonder - and the answer is no. I have not had one. I don't know if I know anyone who has. I'm not even sure that I would be able to convince myself to have one, regardless of circumstances. But that does not take away from the fact that I should be able to make the choice of what goes on with my body.

I'm sure it's obvious where Sarah Palin comes into play regarding this, but...if she has her way, the right to choose will no longer exist. Roe vs. Wade will go the way of the wolves in Alaska. Terminated from on high by someone who feels they have the right to play God.

So - am I "like" Sarah Palin? No. And I hope that I never become like her, for the sake of my daughter's freedom, the wolves' lives, and the existence of honesty in public office.